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When I was single… oops still single (got boyfriend now) I never had a hard time when I was shopping with my close Thai friend. We enjoyed shopping and we always ended up getting discounts a lot from those shops, but recently I have to go shopping alone since my close friend has moved back to her home town. Alright no problem, I could still enjoy my time shopping… until…

In 2009 I met my boyfriend. We first met on the internet, and we spent about six months chatting before he decided to come visit me in Thailand, which was in December 2009. One day we were shopping together looking for stuff for him and for me, incredibly, when we asked for a discount those shops didn’t want to give us one… come on man even a discount of 10 baht would make me happy enough. So I was thinking it was pretty unusual, because those shops are in the area that I usually go shopping with my Thai friend, and the normal place that you would get a discount, but now they don’t want to discount any more or maybe it is because I am with a Farang?

In a previous blog I wrote about how so many Thais seem to think Farangs have good finance. So what? They don’t deserve to get a discount, and deserve to pay higher than the Thais do? Is this a double standard? Look at me, hey I am also a Thai. What if I say I spend my own money not the Farang’s money, would they believe me? I admit It is very tiring.

The same goes for the Tuk Tuk men (Tuk Tuk-Tricycle) You know we would only call the Tuk Tuk when we really needed one. I’d say most of them were really happy having us as customers, but of course I had to ask first “how much?”. The first price was odd… oh hey it isn’t that far how come the price sounds so high? I was pissed off and said “Thanks, bye!” and we decided to walk even though he offered us the new cheaper price… sorry too late (I hate this trick)! But hey its not that bad, a few times I’ve met decent Tuk Tuk men where the prices they asked were reasonable. One of them was telling me that he doesn’t understand what the hell is going on in this country with DOUBLE STANDARDS! I said “Oh no! I’ve had enough listening to this! Sorry I’m not interested in talking about Thai politics, and I’m not going to choose which colours! Don’t you look at me, I’m just wearing black, my favourite colour, and I wear it after my hero no one else! He is my dad! He loves black!” Then the Tuk Tuk man started giggling and said “No No! I meant double standards in the terms of you should be honest in your job and to your customers, be proud and dignified. Those Tuk Tuk men treat the customers with double standards, that’s what I was saying!”. Oh lord I am sorry.

Tuk-Tuk

So tell me what’s going on with Tuk Tuk men and double standards? Then he replied “Some Tuk Tuk men charge for the service to foreigner customers higher than Thai customers, and I think its sick, as that causes a bad reputation towards us Tuk Tuk drivers” On this I will have to disagree with him slightly. It has happened to me before even though I am a Thai, and live in north-east. I speak the Thai language normally, but not the local language (Isaan language) although I can if need be. I sometimes have to speak Isaan language to the people in those shops and taxi guys so they will know I am not from another place and don’t try to scam me!

Sadly me and my Farang boyfriend were stuck in their memories already. Whenever I go shopping now, those shops hardly ever give me a discount haha. They’d give another customer a discount, and its pretty usual to ask for a discount here in boutiques in Thailand. You see, being “Mia Farang” or having a Farang boyfriend is not always lucky! Mia means wife, but in this case it can be a girlfriend as well. So Mia Farang = Farang’s girlfriend/wife.

What are “Mia Farang” expected to be?

• Very skinny like bones walking?

Do people expect Mia Farang to come from a farmer’s family?

• Tanned skin?

Because fair skin ladies are for Thai men, and tan-skinned ladies are for Farangs? Why? Why is there this preconception that somehow having fair skin makes you look high-class in this Thai society? Why so many Thai people continually make fun of tan-skinned ladies? Is it because in Thailand they consider fair skin to be cleaner and more attractive or adorable? Nowadays high technology can help you to change your skin colour, but apart from whitening lotion, are you really prepared to end up throwing big money at a beauty course?

Happy Birthdays 2010

• Dress sexy?

Most of the time when you see the Farang men hang out with Thai ladies they always dress sexy? Tiny clothes like wearing short a palm span long (6 inches)? Piercings and tattoos… everyone? Haha.

How do I look?

• Cigarette in her hand…

Not in a public area like the shopping centre or restaurants, because you will get fined 2,000 baht. Not many Thai women smoke though, being a decent Thai woman she shouldn’t smoke otherwise they will assume that she’s a bargirl! C’mon, it’s not only girls that work in the bar that hangout with Farang hey! The other thing with being Thai women is you’ve got to be a slim and slender. The girl who is size 14(UK) up is considered FAT here in this society… absolutely weird idea!

• Wearing a gold necklace, ring, earrings etc. Visiting the goldsmith’s like it’s their second home?

Thinking about it in a positive way though, its a good investment buying gold, please don’t forget that your necklace has got to be big… as big as a chain then you will completely look “Mia Farang”!

Ok, I am not skinny but chubby/curvy I am a size 16(UK), which my boyfriend said is not considered large in the UK. I have fair skin, but I’m not necessarily sure that this actually makes me look more adorable or pretty.. does it? I don’t smoke… err yes I do… erm… actually …I meant I don’t smoke cigarettes, and I have no tattoos, but I do have some piercings. Also sorry, please don’t ask about gold cause I cant afford any… how does that sound?

I’m proud of my Farang boyfriend not because he’s a Farang, but because he’s a great lover. So having a Farang boyfriend doesn’t mean I have to change myself, use brand name products, or start being snobbish. I haven’t forgot where I come from, and am still friendly to others the same way I was, and of course once again I am not rich!

Sometimes I feel weird when people try to be friendly to me when in the past we have barely spoken. Knowing that I have got a Farang boyfriend, some of them ask me out for parties, shopping etc… sorry. I’ve had enough of fake people in my life, and I find that the only two people who have never changed and have always treated me the same way… are my parents! I love them so much! They are always on my side and will be there for me no matter what.

Until next time, happy shopping!

Kit

Kit

Hi I'm Kitiya from Thailand. I was born and grew up in Udon Thani,Thailand... the land of smiles. I have one sibling, and I'm a freelance tutor, Welcome to my world :)

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Hello… and greetings to foreigners. When trying to get into the bars & restaurants of Thailand, please be aware that the pretty ladies in sexy outfits will always be willing to give you good service… welcome to Thailand, land of smiles. The funny thing is, when you pronounce “Welcome” in Thai it means “Karma”, and my dad likes to make fun of this.

They say beauty is on the eye of beholder, and of course when I ask my boyfriend “Hey babe, who is the most beautiful girl in the universe?” He immediately replies to me “You Kitiya!”. Haha, it’s funny, and I know he really means it, however, I always reply to him “Tell me something I don’t know, I already know that I am beautifullll….”. Of course I am his girlfriend, and he’d rather answer that way than have to sleep under the bed all night.

The truth is, I know that I am attractive enough, and I also know that he loves me head over heels, but please don’t take that the wrong way. I am naturally just a confident type of person, and cant really help myself. The truth is I have been single for all of my life until I met my British boyfriend at the age of 29, and we are still together. I’ve never had a Thai boyfriend, so this guy is the first man in my life… and he is also a farang.

I wonder if any of you think my situation is a bit strange? I was born and grew up in Thailand, and I have never lived abroad, but I have also never been in relationship with a man from my country. Most Thai women who are in a relationship or even married to a farang have been with a Thai man before, I’d say more than 70% of them, and of course there’s nothing wrong with that. I know that some people I know find my story bit weird, and I also know that my boyfriend has never been in a serious relationship with British lady either. Is it destiny? We were thousands miles apart before we met.

Actually, I had planned to write about this a long time ago as I find it a very interesting subject, and it is often talked about in Thailand. As an experiment I typed the words “Thai girl” into a search engine… the results for dating sites turned up pretty quickly, but actually this is pretty boring for someone who just wants to read an article about Thai girls…

You will often find that north-eastern Thai girls have tan skin. I know that in western countries they think tan or honey skin is very sexy, and I have heard it said by westerners that in the west, if you can afford to keep a tan, then you are considered a fairly wealthy person because you can afford to travel abroad, to Phuket or Bali for instance, to get a suntan.

Me as a school teacher - fair skin!

In Thailand it’s not quite like that. I’ve seen Thai people make fun of north-eastern girls with their tan skin. It’s like “Oh hey are you from somewhere in the countryside?”, or “You’re from a farming family?”, or “Do you have a buffalo as a pet or what?”. The personal insults are a pain in the ass really, although I don’t think it makes any sense. Why does it happen? Is it just because that person has tan skin, or is it something else?

Most north-eastern Thai women seem to be proud of their tan skin now, especially those who have a farang lover. I’d say most of farangs I know find tan skinned women very attractive, some even to the point of obsession! It reminds me of very first time my boyfriend visited me for real, he was surprised that my skin was quite as tanned as it was, I guess it must have looked quite pale on the web-cam. He couldn’t stop looking at me and rubbing my skin… for days. Actually my real skin is quite fair, however the sun in Thailand is very strong, plus most of my clothes are tiny, so it’s quite easy to gain a tan very quickly.

Me all tanned - pale boyfriend!

There was a girl I knew once when I was a student. We studied in the same class, but other students liked to make fun of her looks. Yes, she was from countryside, from a farming family, and she was kind of poor. This one time she had to present a report in front of the entire classroom, and I noticed people giggling a lot, and she was getting a lot weird looks from the “sassy” girls. In the end, as it turns out, she eventually married a rich farang man, who spent a lot of money on surgery for her, as well as an intensive beauty course for her skin, and she looks a lot prettier. She is very happy now and is living abroad with her farang husband, but I’ve got no idea how those “sassy” girls are doing now. Have they heard about the country girl whom they used to make fun of? I wonder what they would have to say about her now?

It’s interesting how the attitude shown by the girls in the story I just related are reflected in modern buying attitudes in Thailand. Whitening lotion seems to be very popular here, as many Thai women/men, or indeed the “3rd sex”, seem to like their skin to be white. Some already have fair skin but want their skin to be even whiter, as they believe that having very fair skin will make them look more attractive, as many Thais adore it so much.

Most women from the north (not north-east) of Thailand have a very fair skin, and with their north accent it makes them sound very sweet. I think northern women are sweet and look adorable, southern women tend to be a bit more Indian looking, with honey skin. The average Thai women is between 154-158cm in height, and weighs around 43-52 kg… tiny huh?They usually have black or hazel eyes too. My dad said I have a very Thai face. A round face, full lips, pretty eyes, and a decent size but not too small nose. However, compared to an average Thai woman I am big, and they would call me fat/chubby. I doubt if they even know the word “curvy”, as my westerner friends think my figure is. They seem to know about “fatty” and “skinny” only!

Talking about “skinny”, it reminds me of my close friend. She’s an average Thai lady with a tiny body, around 156cm tall and 44kg in weight. She’s a lovely small lady who likes a big man. Her boyfriend or her ex’s are all big. She liked to give big men the eyes and then say to me “Hey Kit! He’s real cute isn’t he?” I was like “What? You obsessed!!.

Something that you guys have to know about Thai women is that most of us don’t speak fluent English, unlike Filipina women, so please bear with us. I know an Aussie man who goes for Thai women, and he’s only interested in Thai women. I used to ask him why they must be Thai? Apart from looks what else was there? Then he explained to me that he liked the fact that they mostly don’t speak fluent English, and that when they try to speak English he finds it very charming! Well that’s good to hear! With this in mind I’ve always said to my Thai students (when I’m teaching English) “Hey, don’t worry about it. Just speak out loud and confidently when speaking English and don’t be afraid that those farangs would laugh, it isn’t your mother language”. It’s also true that some English native speakers I know speak in pretty broken English anyway… people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones I guess!

The funny thing was, two days ago I was looking at a British website shopping online for dresses. I found my a great dress that was on sale… discounted from £45 to £9 in size 16 UK (my size), and there was only one left in stock. I was screaming out loud at the monitor, and sent a text message to my boyfriend telling him about the dress. Guess what? He was at work, and when he came back two hours later the dress had gone “out of stock”, ouch! He said “Darling, I’ve told you before that size 16 is a pretty average size in the UK”. Average Thai girls tend to be around 8-10 UK size… *sigh*, it’s hard to find my size in Thailand!

Dress from UK

Sexy Nightwear from UK

When I was younger I was taught that in order to be a good wife, it was necessary to learn how to cook, as the old wisdom says that it will help bind your husband to you. You guys love good food don’t you? Also, cleaning the house, and ironing and washing the clothes for your husband is taught as being a good thing. I did these things when my boyfriend was here, I washed his clothes as he was lying down on the bed watching me, but he tells me it actually made him feel a bit guilty.

You see, being pretty isn’t enough, but sadly the new generation of young Thai girls don’t seem to be interested in learning how to cook any more. There are convenience stores out there open 24 hours a day, the routine has changed, and life is one big rush, so no time for cooking. Fast food seems to be the choice now.

In my previous blog “How did you meet your Thai sweetheart” I talked about relationships between Thai women and foreign men. This is particularly relevant to me due to where I come from, as in Thailand, Udon Thani is known as the no.1 province for local women getting married to foreign men.

Now I bet you guys have got some questions about that, such as “What’s wrong with Thai men?” The answer that I got, from those women I know who have been in relationships with Thai men previously, is that they don’t like how Thai men treat them. They generally find that a farang treats them a lot better and with more respect. They also find that farangs tend to have better finances, and can look after the woman and her children much more easily. I am happy to hear about it when things go well, but its not always like that. For other couples the Thai lady just treats her farang like what I will call an “ATM machine”. I don’t mean to say that all of Thai girls are like that, and I am not going to go into the boring details here, as it’s a subject that has been discussed endlessly on many Thai/expat forums all over the internet. But it does happen.

I grew up in the conservative family, and my mother, nan and aunties were always telling me about how a decent girl should act.

So, what’s a decent Thai girl supposed to be like?

1. Speak softly  being a girl you aren’t suppose to yell or speak very loud especially in the public.

2. Dress decently  by this I mean not very showy, and of course cleavage must be hidden. Shorts or a skirt above your knees is considered TOO SHORT! C’mon at 35c!. Aunty please?

3. Following on from the previous entry  wearing shorts or a short skirt when you go to visit the temple is considered inappropriate (or you will get some weird looks from others)

4. No piercings (although ears are fine) and no tattoos.

5. Make-up is supposed to be light so don’t let the make-up get too thick (because they wont understand its fashion lol) or they might take it the wrong way, like “Hey did someone just punch you in the eye?” C’mon auntie, its called smokey eyes!

6.Decent Thai girls aren’t supposed to express their love to a man by kissing or hugging in public (this is hard for me when I see my boyfriend at the airport)

I think that’s all for now, though I doubt many Thai girls could follow these rules nowadays LOL.

Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks musings, until next time, take care of yourselves.

Kit

Kit

Hi I'm Kitiya from Thailand. I was born and grew up in Udon Thani,Thailand... the land of smiles. I have one sibling, and I'm a freelance tutor, Welcome to my world :)

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