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Sawasdee (Ka-female)/(Krup-male) – “The Thai wai greeting”. This is the standard Thai greeting and show of respect, indicated by pressing your palms together between your chest and bowing. Thai people do not shake hands like people in the west.

When somebody “wai’s” you, if you don’t return the “wai” then it would be considered impolite, or you could have at least just nod. This also depends on your relationship to the person. For example, when you visit your relatives, if they’re older than you then you are supposed to “wai” them and they will return the “wai” to you in the same way (position between chest). This also can be done to a person that you respect, or to a person of higher social status. Also, depending on the situation, such as a traditional Thai wedding, during the ceremony the bride will “wai” the groom, and then the groom will accept her “wai” and promise her that he will love and treat her with respect. I find this part of the ceremony very romantic and touching.

Wow, such a beautiful and charming Thai culture. Yes I mean it, even though when I was a kid I was too shy to do it and my parents thought I was being snobbish hehe. A “wai” is a show of respect, but If you’re a foreigner visiting Thailand, it can be difficult to determine when you should “wai” or when someone should “wai” you. Usually it should be fine to do the Thai “wai” greetings to people you know who are older or about the same age as you… but not to the kids or some person who’s much younger than you. You should also “wai” when receiving a gift as a way of saying “thank you”, and you must do it before you receive. As I am in a relationship, when my boyfriend came to see me I did the Thai “wai” greeting as well.

Sawadee Ka

Always remember that when you “wai” a Buddhist monk, it’s a bit different. You should be pressing your palms together , with your hands lifted up a bit so that both thumbs are inbetween your eyebrows, and your forefingers are on the top of your forehead. From here say “Na-mas-sa-karn”, and then the monk will reply “Ja-roen-pon” Do not say “Sawasdee”, beause this cannot be used towards a monk. We also hold the “wai” while listening to a Buddhist sermon, until it ends.

Madme Wai's Buddha

So, the other day, I happened to go to the area I used to work (at a school) to get some food. Wow, it brought back some memories for me, and I was standing there pondering these, but as is turns out not for too long because all of a sudden somebody woke me up! “Kru Pui sawasdee ka?”… “do you remember me?”. I turned around and had a look “erm…?!?”… two girls with Thai student uniforms were standing front of me, and they greeted me cupping their hands together. I was thinking that it was such a beautiful “wai”, and that one of the girl looked familiar. Oh yes! She was my student way back when I used to teach here, and it’s lucky for me that I could recognise her, otherwise she would have been disappointed. To be honest, she didn’t look that different to the girl I taught over seven years ago, when she was like ten years old. So, after asking her what grade she studied at the last year of high school, she the revealed that… wow… she will turn eighteen years old soon! Time flies it seems… and I feel am getting old!

Amazingly, the day before I was in the same area buying egg noodle “bah mee” and guess what? I saw my former teacher was waiting for noodles as well, so I parked my bike and then walked closer to him. I did the Thai greeting “wai”, and you know, I wanted to do it properly because I respect my teacher and the Thai culture. Some people may rush when they do it, and that would make it look odd.

Only 30 Baht!

I’ve been asked by many foreign friends “How come Thai people are always talking about food?”. They say they’ve been asked this question “Where are you going?” or “Where have you been, long time no see”, then they know the next question would come up “… and have u eaten?”. It doesn’t matter what their answer would be, whether they have eaten or not, those Thai people would prepare food for them like a main course! Yes, I said main course… not only just a snack like cake or cookies served with tea or coffee like they do in western countries.

It’s not only a welcoming party, but also a sign of respect as well. It means they are pleased to see that you have come to visit them… put it this way, if you are not welcome, you will not see even one bottle of water!

Now, lets talk about the sort of questions those people might ask, even though you may not know them well. You guys (foreigners) may find it a bit odd, but for me as a Thai girl I am used to those questions and I don’t take them in the wrong way (or try not to).

So here are the top three questions that you might usually get asked (and the probable uninitiated westerner response).

1 (Thai) Q: Hello, where are you going?

   (Westerner) A: (*thinking…mind your own business, I don’t need to tell you where am heading to*) LOL

2. (Thai) Q: Hello,Where did you go?

    (Westerner) A: (*thinking WTF? He/she waited for me to come back just to ask this stupid question?*) LOL

3. (Thai) Q: G’Morning/afternoon/evening- Have you eaten?

    (Westerner) A: (*Why do they really need to know if I have eaten or not?*)

Where are you going to?

(Cartoon characters courtesy of Jas Wilson: Jas Wilson’s AsmallPressBlog

If it’s the case that they haven’t seen you for long time they will ask you this question “How are you?” (Sabai dee mai?) instead.

See? For you guys this question is very common to ask everyday!

Those questions are quite common here in Thailand, the land of smiles… they don’t mean any harm, nor are they being rude or anything. This is especially true for the third question, and I’d be quite happy if somebody asked me that because it means they care about me… just like my aunty when she has chatted to me on msn, she always asks me this question “Sawasdee, have u eaten sweety”?, to which I reply “No, aunt am not hungry for food but something else” LOL …JK!

Well, I hope you enjoyed my musings today, until next time.

Kitiya

Kit

Hi I'm Kitiya from Thailand. I was born and grew up in Udon Thani,Thailand... the land of smiles. I have one sibling, and I'm a freelance tutor, Welcome to my world :)

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This topic seem to be one of most discussed issue on the popular Thai forums, that is the Dowry or in Thai “Sin Sod”. In the Thai tradition, the groom will be expected to pay a dowry to bride’s parents, this is a mark of respect to the bride and her family… in other words it proves that you are financially stable enough to take care of their daughter, and shows gratitude to the your Thai bride’s parents for the successful upbringing of their daughter or what we call in Thai “Kha Namnom” (ค่าน้ำนม).

So I guess now you guys might want to know how much a dowry can cost, and what this consists of?

Mum and me

The dowry can be in the form of money – cash or check, or can include gold or diamonds. How much money? Well it depends on the bride’s parents or “yat poo yai” that the relatives require for a dowry. If the groom is lucky enough, the bride’s parents/relatives may well leave it up to him. This was the case with my parents when they got married, in their wedding my mother’s parents didn’t bother asking for a dowry, they had left it up to my father to decide.

Right, my father told me about it. He said that a few weeks before the wedding, he had gone back to his home town Buriram to see his mother to discuss about the dowry thing. At that time her finances were not that good, but she did her best to help her beloved son. She sold some of her pigs and gave my father a gold necklace plus some money from his and her savings, altogether around 10,000 baht (this was 32 years ago, so a lot of money), and then he headed back to Udon Thani for the wedding.

Dad and mum's wedding

He was 31 years old and she was 27 at the time, and it was lovely how they met. They first met at my mother’s small restaurant across the street from the local market. My father used to come to eat at her restaurant very often. He seemed to enjoy the food and the view there, but he didn’t realize that somebody had been observing him at the same time… right, that somebody was my mother’s dad. He was a soldier at the time, and he loved his daughter so much. My mother grew up in a very conservative family at that time, and she had never had a boyfriend before. She was very prim, and wasn’t the kind of lady too flirt around. She was a very beautiful, adorable, and diligent lady, who also worked part time as a model in fashion shows, or occasionally even charity events. So, she was kind of popular with men, and many would come to talk to her. These were business men, or soldiers of high ranking, but in the end she chose my father believe it or not. I have to admit this is impressive, my father was unemployed at the time they got married (he was an aeronautic)… is this called true love?

dad and mum

Anyway, back to the dowry or Sin Sod. As it turns out, my mother’s mother (my nan) returned the money to my parents, because she didn’t want to keep it knowing that my dad was unemployed. My nan returned the whole dowry to my parents to help them get a head-start in their new life together, and they used the money to start a food business which went very well.

How much dowry should be paid? The cost of the dowry can be higher or lower dependent on several factors, such as….

Has the bride ever been married before?

I’ve heard many people say that if the bride has been married before she/her parents are not supposed to ask for a dowry and should leave it up the the groom/his parents to make the decision.

What kind of family does the bride come from?

What is her background, her education, her profession? These things all tally with her social status, and should be reflected in the size of the dowry. The Thai culture is a beautiful one, so please don’t misunderstand that the parents are trying to sell their daughters through wedding, as the “Sin Sod” is sometimes returned to the couple after the wedding anyway, although some parents may keep all or half of the amount.

In this part let me share one of my own experiences with you guys. My good friend was a teacher, and I was invited to her wedding. She comes from a decent family, her father was in the army and she had never been married before. From what she said to me, she had never ever had a boyfriend, which meant the groom, her first man, gave her a dowry of nearly 500,000THB I believe. They are both Thai, but I know when it comes to a farang and a Thai lady’s marriage, that the farang groom will be expected to pay a high a dowry haha. Anyway, this isn’t new thing, most Thai people expect the farang to have good finances… sick isn’t it?

It’s interesting, I used to ask my parents “What if some day I got married, would you ask my groom for a dowry?”, and “ If yes, then how much would you ask, and would you return the whole dowry to us or would you keep some?”. They replied “No, we wouldn’t ask for a dowry or a specifically how much, we would leave it up to the groom to decide. Just the promise me that he will love our daughter and treat our daughter with the respect that she deserves… that makes us happy enough.”

When people ask “How much was the dowry?” after the wedding – Does it need to be told?

This depends on whether both sides agree to tell or not. I guess if it was a BIG Sin Sod then it’s ok to be telling haha. At least then the people in their village will have something to talk about… like whether the daughter from that family costs a lot or not LOL JK.

So, my dream wedding will definitely not have those kinds of people , I’d only invite very close friends and some relatives. I just turned 31 years old 2 days ago, and started thinking about our wedding… hehe getting old… sigh, but I won’t moan too much, as I’ve finally found someone. At the moment I am happy enough with my man, he’s a lovely boyfriend, although I am heart broken sometimes when we have to say goodbye in the airport. Hopefully it won’t be long before we will be together again permanently… my love Terence.

love birds.

Take care until next time,

Kit

Kit

Hi I'm Kitiya from Thailand. I was born and grew up in Udon Thani,Thailand... the land of smiles. I have one sibling, and I'm a freelance tutor, Welcome to my world :)

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