When I was in university over ten years ago, a friend introduced me to a chat program called mIRC. Whenever we had free time at the university we would go to the top floor of the Library building, where they would let students use internet for free for research and assignment purposes, but funnily enough most students didn’t use for that, instead they used it for online chatting.
mIRC – remembering the old days.
Back then IRC (or Internet Relay Chat) was very popular, and so the area around then university had a lot of internet cafés. At night these would be very crowded, and I was one of those who was IRC addicted. Luckily I had a friend who owned an internet café near the university, and I was regular customer so got discounts. As I was new to the whole thing initially, the first greeting confused me, which was “ASL”… what the hell is ASL?!? I later found out this meant “Age, Sex, Location”. Some of my friends met with foreign guys via IRC although I never did met a guy via IRC myself, even though I spent a lot of time on there as it was free at that time.
Hi I'm Kitiya from Thailand. I was born and grew up in Udon Thani,Thailand... the land of smiles. I have one sibling, and I'm a freelance tutor, Welcome to my world :)
The first time I started chatting online was about 15 years ago when I was 15 years old and studying in college. At the time there were internet cafés in the main shopping centre in Udon Thani. My friends took me there and we started chatting through one program, although I’m not actually sure what it was called now…but it looked a bit like mIRC somehow. I remember chatting to someone, a guy from Australia and mentioning about the Sydney Opera House to him. We spent quite a while chatting.
This was a short-lived experience as a month later I stopped chatting and didn’t go back to that internet café again, as I couldn’t be bothered with it. I was thinking I’d rather enjoy life in college for the time being, and I was studying Art Design which was awesome!
Ok, when I finished college I changed my major study to marketing for the first year in university. It was awful. I was stressed, and cried often, it was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. At college I had barely had nightmares or any stress, so I didn’t understand why when I entered the university I had it almost every time I slept, or even when I had a nap. It was killing me! It was during this time of nightmares that a close friend of mine said to me that it would be a good idea to keep myself busy or find something else to entertain myself. So I asked “What then?” She suggested that perhaps I might try doing something like chatting online. Excuse me? Give me more details please!
Anyway, back to the internet thing. I turned twenty years old, and was studying for the fourth year in university. My close friend had introduced me to mIRC, and after uni ended we would head to the internet café near my home. It was funny, a lot of people came to chat to me and when I asked them “Where are you from?”most of them would reply to me “Pak” or “Pakistan”. I was in doubt. This mIRC is very addictive, and at the time I ended up spending most of my money in the internet cafe 100 baht/day ( 20 baht/hour). However, I eventually decided to install internet at home.
In the group I used to hang out with, the girls would visit dating websites as well, but I wasn’t interested in that back then (15 years ago), the dating website in Thailand wasn’t that popular at the time, so I spent time chatting on mIRC just for fun, or just to kill time. When we graduated in the year 2002, those girls went back to their home towns, or went to Bangkok or another major city for work. Only a few stayed in Udon Thani, and I was one of them. Later on, I found out that many girls in that group eventually met their farang sweetheart online, got married and moved to their hubby’s home country, but of course not all of those relationships were so successful.
In the chat world, as you guys probably know, there are a lot of scams, and also liars and perverts. A man may keep telling a woman he chats to “Yes honey, I’d like to come to see you, but first I need see your photo so I will know what you look like”, or “I’ve heard your country is so beautiful, but I don’t know anybody there. Would you mind showing me around? I will pay everything so you don’t have to worry”… blah, blah, blah. Then for the next step of course he will start to ask to see you on webcam, and try to get you naked. Of course some women are willing to do that, just to get the man to visit them for some reason, maybe money is included in that?
This man may or may not turn up in the end, but if he really does turn up, and spends time with the woman for short while and then says “Ok, I’m glad I met you. I’ve been very happy, you’ve treated me well, and I’d like to visit you again, but now I have to leave”… I think ninety percent of the time he’ll be leaving for another women he was chatting with before he came to see you. Sorry guys, I’m not trying to be negative, but it is my experience that, although some couples are successful, I find it to be quite a rare occurrence.
Of course, people were curious when they saw us walking together in Udon, and since then many women have come to talk to me, asking me to help them to find a farang boyfriend… some even offer me money. It can get a bit tiring, but I always try to be polite, replying that “Sorry, I dont do that”. It’s not my style to try and become another freelance cupid.
People here seem to think it’s pretty normal to ask about my personal business, like “Does your boyfriend send you money?“, “How much does he send you?”, “How did you and your boyfriend meet?”, “Where is he from?”, “What does he do for work?” blah, blah, blah. So I told my boyfriend about this, and he said obviously that those are not things the British would tend to ask.
So, the first time my boyfriend was planning to come over, his family and friends were understandably a bit worried for his welfare. He had not travelled out of the UK for about twenty years previously, and yet here he was preparing to travel halfway around the planet to meet a girl he’d only known for about 6 months, and whom they knew nothing about at all. To make it worse she was Thai, and it’s a sad fact that Thai women have a bit of a bad reputation in certain parts of the world, so who could blame them for being cautious?
Well, that was well over a year ago now, and they have all gotten to know me a lot better through social networking and chatting on messenger since then. They have seen the photos and videos we made while he was here visiting me in Thailand, and are a lot more comfortable with our relationship, and how serious we are about it.
I guess the message of this blog is, that although the internet can be a dangerous place, full of liars and scammers, and they can certainly hurt you if you are not careful, as long as you are mindful of your own safety, and don’t let strangers into your life too freely, it is possible to find lasting and meaningful relationships on the internet, and yes… even love.
UD town,which is an outdoor market area in the city centre. Its one of our favourite places; live music, good Thai and English food and drinks around.
Hi I'm Kitiya from Thailand. I was born and grew up in Udon Thani,Thailand... the land of smiles. I have one sibling, and I'm a freelance tutor, Welcome to my world :)
